I could mention the man who gave the, (seemingly), 45 minute speech on nothing and everything at once, although he's not ugly... I think he was just high. Really, I think he was high.
I could mention the man who ran the entire event who had terribly sunken, shifty eyes and nervously glanced left and right the entire time as though he was searching for the secret agent sniper who was undoubtedly in the crowd anxious to end his life.
I could mention the ancient woman in a wheel chair in the disabled section which was surrounded by stairs. No one saw her arrive or knew how she got there.
I could comment on the face that otherwise cute girl made after the old stoner gave his everlasting speech.
Actually, I will.
It was hilarious. She curled her lip almost up to her nose and had this look of "what the FUCK did I just sit through", and the camera man, bless his heart, caught it and displayed it on the big screen for the entire arena to see.
Who I want to talk about is the individual sitting in the disabled section just ahead and to the left of me. This person didn't look disabled and didn't act disabled, they just looked terrifyingly, horribly, morbidly obese.
A comparatively tiny folding chair strains under the weight of this gender ambiguous person. A mammoth pale yellow polo shirt stretches tightly across the beasts sagging flesh, folding and disappearing into creases as though vacuum sealed. Their mouth stands slightly open to facilitate rapid, shallow breaths as sweat cascades and pools in the many pock marks in befouled skin.
Grey hair, half matted to their skull with sweat, half wiry and poking out at harsh angles, was cut a mostly uniform length I estimate to be roughly one and a half to two inches long. Bushy, dark eyebrows were furrowed and their mouth occasionally shut into a perpetual scowl, perhaps to swallow the saliva gathering as they pondered their next trip to the all you can eat Chinese food buffet.
Several inches below the seat of the chair hung the edges of the behemoths immense gut, almost like a pancaked eldritch nightmare of lovecraftian lore. A creature so horrible sat before me that, like a train wreck, I could not wrench my eyes away! I could feel my sanity being torn from me, clinging to the farthest recesses of my mind with each sweaty, labored intake of oxygen it managed.
"Dude. Dude!" my neighbor jostled my elbow and side until I turned to face him, "Look!"
The elderly woman in the wheel chair was being rolled away... down a hallway we had not noticed anymore.
"Well that's no fun," I said, and looked back at the big-screen in the middle of the arena just in time to watch my friend walk up and grab her diploma.
